


It Was A Dark & Stormy Night

by Gildedmuse



Series: It Was A Dark & Stormy Night [1]
Category: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
Genre: Challenge Response, First Lines Challenge, Gen, Humor, Rain, Short One Shot, The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy Has This To Say About Unbeta'd Fic....
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-15 20:43:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18677062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gildedmuse/pseuds/Gildedmuse
Summary: It was and would continue to be a dark and stormy night for Arthur Dent. Followed by a dark and stormy day with a dark and stormy tea time to follow.





	It Was A Dark & Stormy Night

**Author's Note:**

> [Posted to Tumblr around 2013 as part of a series of fics all beginning with the same line.]

**It Was A Dark & Stormy Night**

It was, for Arthur Dent, a dark and stormy night.

 

Strangely, for most of the rest of population the day’s weather had been perfectly pleasant (which is rather common on Divre-Vega 6 which, indeed, is over all a rather pleasant place in general although perhaps nothing particularly special). Sure, the morning had started a little more dewy than some people like especially if you’re the kind of person who has to spend the earlier hours of the day heading into work and the bottom of your trousers end up lightly damp even though it’s not even raining in the slightest, and that’s always somewhat annoying. However, by noon the sun was well in position to take care of that, and in case it got too harsh there was a light breeze traveling through the air keeping everything mild and comfortable.

 

Everything, that was, except for a two by two foot area surrounding Arthur Dent where the atmosphere was one of complete and utter miserableness. Partially, Ford suspected, because that seemed rather normal for Arthur. I mean, here he was getting to travel around the galaxy for free seeing all the amazing sights and almost all he ever did was complain about the lack of tea and cozy house robes and humanity in general. It seemed natural that if that were the sort of attitude you carried around with you than more then likely your going to come off like you constantly have misery hanging over your head. It’s like that one bloke at a party who was only there because he’d recently got dumped and all his friends thought it’d be good for him to go out and have some fun, but instead it was as he radiated this feeling of utter despair so hard the whole room just took two steps back and tried to steer clear in fear of getting dragged into the gloominess themselves.

 

Partially, of course, it was the small but active rain storm that had settled inches away from his head and been following him around all day, leaving him complete surrounded in a very dark, very wet invisible box. This was not at all helping with the moodiness, Ford noted.

 

“It’s actually quite a compliment,” Ford offered up, although at the same time making a point to stand two and a half feet back from his friend. After all, seemed a shame to get his new outfit damp especially on such a nice day. “I mean, Teracarvons are known for being quite picky about who they get attached to. I once knew a guy back when I first started working at the guide. Had the biggest crush on this Teracarvon snowdrift that you’d ever seen. He’d come to work bundled up in ten pairs of long pants even when it was 100 degrees out just hoping to get it’s attention, and you know it never even gave him the time of day. Literally, he’d go up to it trying to start any conversation he could think of and this snow drift wouldn’t even answer him about what time it was! Can you believe it! Felt terrible for the guy, of course…. Ended up dying of heat stroke, and do you think the snowdrift even showed up to the funeral? Let me give you a hint: we all showed up in shorts and had to serve margaritas the whole time!”

 

Arthur had already been frowning so it wasn’t so much that his expression changed, the frown just went from one of general hardship to that of mild confusion. “Why did you have to serve margaritas?” He asked, looking over at Ford from under a curtain of soaking wet hair.

 

Ford shrugged, taking a sip of the drink he’d ordered. They didn’t actually have any money on them, but as luck would have it the water produced by Teracavons is well known the universe over for being some of the healthiest, purest stuff you could drink. He’d managed to strike up a deal with the bartender at that particular establishment that in exchange for a couple of free drinks he’d keep Arthur right where he was and letting them set a few buckets up around him. So far it was working out well for the business and for Ford, although Arthur seemed rather fed up with the whole arrangement, especially since Ford had forgotten to mention his friend and the bartender didn’t consider serving Arthur under the terms of their deal. “Well, I mean, it was a hot summer and we were at a funeral. What else are you going to serve?” Ford asked, thinking that would have been rather self explanatory.

 

Even still  Arthur seemed to have to think over it for a second or two. “I suppose.”

 

“Well, yeah. You wouldn’t serve like warm apple cider would you?”

 

It was hard to argue with. Who would want warm apple cider on a hot summers day? “No, no you wouldn’t.”

 

“Precisely."  By now Ford had finished off his drink and was watching the Teracavon with an odd look in his eyes. Eventually, he thought, it had to get tired of Arthur. After all, Ford is probably his best friend in the universe having saved him from being blown up with the rest of his planet, and even he could have used a break now and then.

 

"Still,” Arthur said after a moment more. “It seems rather inappropriate for a funeral and all. I mean, one shouldn’t be having fun at a funeral, should they?”

 

A little burst of light exploded through the cloud over Arthur’s head like internal thunder and the torrent of rain doubled it efforts.

 

At the bar Ford turned around, calling the bartender back over. “I’ll have another, if you please,” he said. The bartender nodded, taking the bucket out from under Arthur and replacing it with another. “In fact, just keeping them coming,” Ford said, eying up Arthur and wondering how long he could sit there just frowning at things and how drunk Ford could get in that time. “I have a feeling it’s going to be a long dark and stormy night.”

 


End file.
